Some Days...

Some days it just takes a wee bit more to feel doesn't it. Just to feel something, anything. I don't know if it is because I have not been out to see anyone or doing thing this week or just the grey rainy day. But I don't feel much. A few bits of punctuated laughter and light heartedness, but mostly blank, nothing. It is not depression by any means, I know depression all way too well, life long monkey on ones back. It's more like a blank, static canvass. I can't explain it anymore than that. That is my day today.

I did get out and go for walks inbetween the rain that fell. I got ansty and had to get out, maybe to "feel." I just concentrated on moving and my breath, not much else. Maybe I need to walk and think and get things out of my head instead. There's things in there just bubbling under the surface, but not tangible yet or wanting to make an appearance. Shadows hidden within shadows. I did make a killer Thai Crunchy Salad for lunch with enough leftover for a few more meals. I am thinking of making some creamy brown rice in the Instant Pot tonight and tossing in some steamed veg and a nice soft crumbled cheese. At least I am feeling gastronomically happy :)

So yeah back to not feeling anything today. Is it a miracle to feel? There are all sorts of feelings, sensations, tactile experiences. Like right now I can enjoy feeling the smooth surface of my keyboard while I type and sensation of listening (feeling?) to Maria Doyle Kennedy -Maria Live. One of my fave parts BTW is when someone in audience offers her up a brandy. Kills me everytime. One could argue that feelings are good and bad and let us know that we are alive.

So if it is a miracle to feel, what is the definition of feeling? How would you define it for yourself? What does it mean to feel? Are other things a greater miracle, like love, birth, death, life? I think it's all subjective to (pardon the pun) how one is feeling and where one is at mentally, phyically and culturally.

I dunno, that is all I have for today. Philosophically discuss amongest yourselves.