Death

So my papaw is dying.

He was dx with renal failure two weeks ago and I was able to travel and see him one last time with other family members. Yesterday, he took a turn for the worse and is on morphine, slowly dying. It is just a waiting game. He is stubborn (a known BeBout trait) and strong, so we shall see. He is the last one left of my grandparents.

Papaw with my Uncle Chuck (L) and my Daddio (R)

As a young man during the FDR years he traveled and worked for the public works...FDR's plan to revitalize the country by buuilding roads, parks, etc and get us out of the Depression. It was while working out West that he heard about Pearl Harbor and he and his best mate immediately signed up for the Army.

He told me that some Army guys were going around asking if anyone wanted to join the new corp called Airborne. It meant more money and sounded like fun, so he enlisted and became one of the first members to enter into the 101st Airborne Division. He was attached to the 501st Parachute Infantry Division as a Forward Observer. After bootcamp and before going over to England, he married my grandmother, Annabelle. She took a train all by herself to the Carolina's dressed in a modest light blue dress. Papaw met her at the station and they went to a hotel. The gentleman behind the counter would not let them have a shared room unless they were married. My papaw said, no worries that is what we are planning to do! They were married by the JP and got their hotel room. The next morning, he left to go across the pond and she went back to Ravenna, OH. During the war my grandmother worked in a local factory making rain slickers for the GI's. Her contribution as Rosie the Riveter.

My papaw stayed in England and trained for several months. He got leave passes a few times and would go to Scotland. He loved that country. His Great Grandmother was full Scot, Menzies. One of my tattoo's is the Menzies Clan Crest. The other country that he fell in love with was Holland. He loved the people and the countryside. Some of our descendants are Dutch. Only one of us came over from Theilt, Belgium and resided in the Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam in the New World. So if you ever run into another BeBout in the US, we are all related.

My papaw jumped at D Day (and had some great stories to tell), he jumped into Holland where he literally got shot in the ass after getting tangled up in barbwire and was at Bastogne where he got trenchfoot and when they could, he was evacuated. He recovered and was sent back to his unit to train for an invasion of Japan. We all know what transpired there.

When he got back Stateside, he and grandma settled down and started a family. They had two boys (my uncle chuck and my dad) before moving to Stockport, OH and having more kids, seven in total. He worked in the coal mines for the Central Ohio Coal company and retired.

He was most proud of his service to his country, although he did not talk much about it until his own children asked questions and his grand children had school projects. One of my graduating projects was a 30min documentary on his jump into D Day. It was a pleasure to spend that time with him while he reminisced about those times and events that shaped the world. Some of it was painful and he would not give too much detail or want to discuss it.

A few memories from that time included me asking him if he had killed anyone. He said that yes, he did. He even picked up a copy of Mein Kampf off a German solider (which is still in the family today, along with a silk map of Europe that was sewn into his jump jacket for D Day). He added, that in a different time and different circumstances that he and this fellow could have been friends. They could have sat down and had a meal together. They probably had much in common being the same age and from a rural background. Events shift and change tho and if he did not shoot him, he would have been shot. Everyone was just trying to stay alive and do their duty. One could tell that he regreted taking someone's life and that it was not in his nature to do so. Life forces us to things that we never thought we would do.

Another memory and I am unsure if this was during the D Day campaign or in Holland, but he and a few friends were sitting on crates playing cards on a tree stump and an incoming German mortar round came in. He was the only one to survive that and he still did not understand why he was still here and those fellows died. He still suffered from survivor's guilt.

Decades after WW2, France came a calling. They wanted to present him with the Ordre national de la Légion d'honneur. He and a few others were invited to come to France for a whirlwind tour including going back to Normandy and to be given this medal in gratitude. He had a grand time and was most proud of that medal. He wore it whenever he could with the rest of his medals, badges and ribbons.

My papaw has lived a good life, had some adventures, several children, has several grand and great grandchildren. I wish that I had lived closer, I wish that I had asked more questions and asked more about his life, I wish I had told him that I loved him more, I wish...I wish...I wish...

As one gets older and starts to lose those around them, one starts to see the patterns and cycles of life that ebb and flow. The interconnectedness, the inevitable outcome of being gifted this life. The natural why's, mystery and fear set in. It's a progression so to speak. One's own life and mortality come into play. When we are young, we take everything for granted. As we get older, we know better...

May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free.

May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature. May all beings be free. - Metta Prayer